Escape to Paradise: Adults-Only Luxury at Riu Palace Antillas, Aruba
Escape to Paradise…Maybe? My Messy Adventure at Riu Palace Antillas, Aruba - Adults-Only (and the Wi-Fi REALLY works!)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to unpack my (slightly sunburnt and sand-filled) experience at the Riu Palace Antillas in Aruba. This place? Supposedly paradise. Adults-only promise? SOLD. Did it deliver? Well… let’s just say it was a rollercoaster ride with a questionable safety belt, but hey, at least the Wi-Fi actually worked in my room (thank god).
The Almost Perfect Arrival & a Crash Course in Caribbean Time (or Lack Thereof)
Landing in Aruba is a dream. Turquoise water, sunshine beating down, and the promise of a stress-free vacation. Check-in was thankfully "contactless" (thank you COVID, I guess?) but felt a little impersonal. Honestly, it reminded me of like, ordering a pizza on a screen – functional but not exactly warm. The elevator situation, however, was… comical. Picture this: a tiny, packed elevator squeezing up a dozen people plus luggage, all hoping to reach their oasis. My first impression? “I really hope this thing doesn’t get stuck."
My room? Pretty standard luxury, I suppose. Air conditioning screamed “YES PLEASE!” the moment I stepped inside, the blackout curtains promised a lovely sleep, and the Wi-Fi… oh, the Wi-Fi! FREE and FAST! In all rooms! Praise be! (This is important, ok? I need internet, especially since I also depend on Internet access – wireless and Laptop workspace to work. Just in case). I also noticed all the other usual stuff (Bathrobes, Coffee/tea maker, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Mini bar, Refrigerator, Shower, Toiletries, Towels). Everything was clean and I had to try out the separate shower/bathtub. The seating area was pretty comfy too.
Accessibility – A Mixed Bag (and a Few Unnecessary Hurdles)
Okay, let's get this out of the way. Facilities for disabled guests were present, but not always perfectly executed. The hotel claims to be accessible, which is important to consider. Getting around the main areas was generally okay. The ramps were plentiful, the elevator was… well, we covered that. But maneuvering through a couple of the dining areas felt a bit tight. Like, "hold your breath and hope nobody trips" tight. And honestly, a hotel of this stature should have a more seamless accessibility experience, which can turn into a pain in the butt.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Where the "All-Inclusive" Starts to Feel… All-Inconsistent)
Alright, the food. This is where things get… interesting. The Breakfast [buffet] was a glorious free-for-all, but mostly the same every single day. The Asian breakfast was a welcome change, but I kept craving like, a real omelet (that wasn't over-cooked). The buffet in restaurant itself was a massive spread, but honestly, the presentation was a little… meh. It felt like quantity over quality, and after a few days, the options started to feel a little samey. The Poolside bar was a lifesaver. Hello, cocktails! Happy hour? Always. But the service? Hit or miss. Some days you'd have a bartender who remembered your name and your drink (bless them!) and other days, you'd be waiting for an hour, watching the sun go down. I tried the A la carte in restaurant. I even tried the Vegetarian restaurant. I'm not a vegetarian, but still gave it a try. The food was fine. The vibe was… well, a little dull. A little too much of the same. One day I took a breakfast takeaway service service, it was nice to grab something quick and go. Coffee/tea in restaurant, Bottle of water, always. But the desserts in restaurant? Seriously underwhelming. Like, a little sad. The Snack bar was a guilty pleasure. Poolside bar really helps in the drinking department. A total life saver!
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (Or, The Great Spa Debacle)
The hotel really sells itself on relaxation, and there's a lot on offer. There's a stunning Swimming pool (actually, several). A Pool with view? Absolutely. The Gym/fitness was actually pretty decent, although I could see myself not using it, haha. The Fitness center actually felt modern. The Spa… oh boy, the spa. Okay, so I'd pictured myself getting a luxurious Body scrub and emerging, reborn. The reality? Let's just say my Body wrap was more of a gentle wrapping, and the massage felt less like a blissful escape and more like a slightly rushed encounter. The Foot bath was lovely, though! The Sauna and Steamroom were decent too. But the overall experience lacked that "wow" factor.
Cleanliness and Safety (A Very Important Question)
This is a big one, especially after the… you know. The hotel clearly takes safety seriously, which is reassuring. The hotel has Anti-viral cleaning products, which is encouraging. The food was placed in a Safe dining setup, which is good. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, check. I did appreciate the Hand sanitizer stations everywhere, especially in the Restaurants. Staff trained in safety protocol, yes, they seemed to be. I saw Daily disinfection in common areas and Rooms sanitized between stays. I also saw that I could opt out of the cleaning services in my room (Room sanitization opt-out available), which is good. There's also a First aid kit available, which is cool. The Doctor/nurse on call, also cool.
Services & Conveniences (The Good, the Bad, and the "Just Okay")
The hotel offers a ton of services, from Air conditioning in public area to a Cash withdrawal. The Concierge was helpful but not always the most informed. The Daily housekeeping kept the rooms spotless, and the Laundry service was godsend after a few days of beach bumming. The Elevator was reliable, but still kinda slow but I still prefer it over the stairs. They had Car park [free of charge]. There's also a Convenience store, which came in handy for snacks and sunscreen because it's hard to think about those things before or during travel.
For the Kids (Not Really, This is Adults-Only!)
I did see Family/child friendly, but really, this is for adults, so don't bring any kiddos – there is Babysitting service, but it's likely for the other RIU hotels.
Getting Around (Easy Peasy)
Airport transfer was pretty seamless. The free Car park [on-site] and a few Taxi service options made getting around a breeze.
The Verdict (Paradise, Or Just a Pretty Good Vacation?)
Look, the Riu Palace Antillas is a decent place to vacation. It's got a fantastic location, great Wi-Fi, and plenty of opportunities to relax. BUT… it's not perfect. The food can be hit or miss, the service can be inconsistent, and the overall experience lacks a certain je ne sais quoi that would elevate it to true paradise. I'd give it a solid 3.5 out of 5 stars.
Would I go back? Maybe. I'd be tempted to explore some of the other RIU properties in Aruba, just to compare. But honestly, the free Wi-Fi in every single room might just be enough to lure me back. And hey, maybe the elevator situation will have improved by then!
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Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This ain't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. We're heading to the Riu Palace Antillas, Adults Only, All Inclusive, in Aruba, and let's be honest, the plan is more of a suggestion. Ready for a disaster-free disaster?
Aruba: Riu Palace Antillas - The Unofficial, Unorganized, and Utterly Honest Itinerary
Day 1: ARRIVAL! (And the Immediate Quest for Rum)
- 1:00 PM (ish): Touchdown at Queen Beatrix Airport. My god, the humidity. Instantly regretting wearing that "cute" linen shirtdress. Feel like a swamp monster already.
- 1:45 PM: Settle into the included transportation. Praying to whatever travel gods are out there that the ride isn't a death trap.
- 2:30 PM: CHECK-IN! Oh man, the lobby's kinda glitzy. I'm already half-expecting to find a sequined Elvis impersonator lurking in the corner. Fingers crossed for a good room.
- 2:45 PM: Room is… decent. Balcony, okay view. The air conditioning is a GIFT from the heavens. Throw myself dramatically onto the bed. This is the life.
- 3:00 PM: The Real Mission Begins: Rum. Gotta find the nearest bar. The only acceptable objective.
- 3:15 PM: Found the pool bar. Victory! Ordered a ridiculously large, brightly colored concoction with way too many umbrellas. Already feeling the vacation vibes.
- 3:30 PM - 6:00 PM: Poolside. Sun. Cocktails. People watching. The usual debauchery. Witnessed a couple nearly knock each other into the pool trying to take a selfie. Love is a battlefield, apparently.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at Krystal (Fusion restaurant). Place is fancy. Am I fancy? Not really. But I'm gonna fake it 'til I make it. The food was…meh. Overcooked fish. But whatever, the wine was flowing.
- 9:00 PM: Casino time! This could either be the best decision of my life or the worst. Feeling lucky. Or maybe just buzzed.
- 9:15 PM: Lost $20. Maybe I'm not the lucky one.
- 10:00 PM: Live music in the lobby. The band was… well, they were trying. I appreciated the effort.
- 11:00 PM: Bed. Exhausted from… existing. Tomorrow, we'll conquer the beach. Or at least attempt to.
Day 2: Beach Bums and Beach Blunders
- 9:00 AM (ish): Wake up. Head to the buffet for breakfast. (This is gonna be a recurring theme, isn't it?) The scrambled eggs are suspicious. Proceeded with extreme caution.
- 10:00 AM: BEACH TIME! The water is that insane turquoise blue you only see in postcards. It's actually breathtaking. Almost makes the sunburn I'm about to acquire worth it.
- 10:30 AM - 1:00 PM: Sunbathing. Lounging. Attempting to read a book (failed miserably due to the sheer allure of the ocean). Managed to get some decent tan lines. Pat myself on the back. Good work, self.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at the beachside grill. Burgers. Fries. Repeat. The kind of food that begs for a nap afterward.
- 1:30 PM: Nap time on the beach, under a palm tree. This is as close to paradise as I'll probably ever get.
- 3:00 PM: I try to find an umbrella, no luck.
- 4:00 PM: Completely burnt. Literally.
- 5:00 PM: Head back to the room to shower and recover. Grab some aloe vera, and try to heal.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the steakhouse. This time, the food was worth it. The steak was cooked perfectly, the service was excellent, and I couldn't get enough.
- 8:00 PM: Find a bar and drink some more.
- 9:00 PM: Repeat last night's show
- 10:00 PM: Bed. Tomorrow, more beach. Or less, depending on the sunburn situation.
Day 3: The Day I Became a Snorkeler (Sort Of)
- 9:30 AM: Breakfast. The scrambled eggs still look questionable. Took a chance. Seemed fine.
- 10:00 AM: Time to try snorkeling! (Despite my utter lack of experience.) Rented some gear. Praying I don't end up swallowing the entire ocean.
- 10:30 AM - 12:00 PM: Snorkeling adventure! The water was clear. Saw some fish. Didn't drown. Success! (Mostly.) The mask kept fogging up. I felt like a claustrophobic fish-out-of-water, but I did it!
- 12:00 PM: The only thing I was able to see was my wife's back.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. More burgers and fries.
- 2:00 PM: Back to the beach.
- 4:00 PM: Back to the room for a nap.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at Don Rafael. My favorite meal so far.
- 7:00 PM: Check out the show
- 9:00 PM: Walk around the area
Day 4: The Day of the Pool
- 10:00 AM: Breakfast, eggs are great!
- 11:00 AM: Day at the pool, lots of sun, lots of fun.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch
- 2:00 PM: More pool time
- 4:00 PM: Back in the room, shower and change.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner
- 7:00 PM: Go to the casino
Day 5: Departure (Sob!)
- 9:00 AM: Last breakfast. Shed a single tear over the final scrambled egg I'll probably see for the next year.
- 10:00 AM: Packing. Why does this always feel like a Herculean task? Did I really wear all of this?
- 11:00 AM: One last dip in the pool. Soak it all in. The sun, the water, the blissful feeling of doing absolutely nothing.
- 12:00 PM: Check-out. Farewell, paradise! I'll miss you (and your questionable scrambled eggs).
- 1:00 PM: Airport. The airport is filled with people who probably just came off of the same flight as me.
- 2:00 PM: Boarding.
- 3:00 PM: The plane takes off, and I can't help but think about how much I needed the trip. I don't know why I waited so long to plan one.
Final Thoughts:
Aruba, you were fantastic. The Riu Palace Antillas? Pretty darn good. Would I go back? In a heartbeat. With a slightly better packing strategy, a stronger sun protection game, and maybe… just maybe… a more consistent approach to the buffet. Until next time, beautiful island.
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So, is this "adults-only" thing really a guarantee of peace and quiet? (Because my kids are screaming in my head just thinking about it.)
Let's talk food. Is it actually… edible? And what about the "fancy" restaurants?
The beach… is it as dreamy as the pictures? Or is it crowded with elbows and toddlers? (Again, on the toddler front…)
What's the deal with the pool situation? Any tips for a pool-averse person like myself?
The rooms... are they actually nice or just... functional? I'm craving luxury, dammit!
What's the nightlife like? Is this a party-hard kind of place? Or more… chill?
Is the staff actually friendly, or are they just pretending for tips? (I'm a bit jaded, I admit.)
Okay, the most important question: Is it worth the price tag? Are you going broke just thinking about it?
